So, I could use twitter or even any other blog site, that I subscribe to, to express all my feeling and daily happenings but I like xanga, I feel so much more anonymous. This morning I woke up in that kind of mood where you swing back in forth from emotions. I don't know whether I'm angry, or sad, or just happy to have realized everything within this past month. So this month I've both received and lost things, my 2011...is going to come with many surprises, hopefully more good then bad, I'm planning to fight back that's all I know!
I just got a new, fabulous, job, BUT my best friend recently moved away too...state I can't mention, but is dreadfully boring...Feeling slightly happy about that, yes it's selfish, but then again I am never selfish and I would like to let myself indulge in the small things, occasionally. She's my best friend OF COURSE I don't want her to be far away, but life moves forward, there's bbm, phone, email, skype, whatever.
Another thing, is while juggling with, what?, 3 (currently, because each month seems like I gain one and drop another) guys.
I've somehow managed to loose all (at the moment). Don't ask me how I came to 3 guys because I neither know how I got here. Best friend says it's my fault, this is true, who else's fault would it be, BUT life and the universe has decided THIS MONTH Savannah YOU WILL PAY. Okay, "bring it on", somehow I managed to say unconsciously. I slowly "lost" guy one, my one true and (like they say in spanish) "amor platonico", even though all he ever wanted to do was sleep with me AND pretended not to love me (because he did, he slowly fell in and out of love with me, because of my constant dedication to having him love me (if that makes any sense at all) I, also slowly, came to a point where I became tired and had my last revelation, LOVE IS NOT HARD, he either wants to love me or not... DONE.
Second love, found out he has AN ACTUAL girl friend where he is living, another state, and now I just feel, what's that feeling again? OH YEAH BETRAYED, amongst other emotions, getting over that day by day (is it bad I hope he dies?, obviously joking, still...)
Third love, went on the most amazing date the other night, he is absolutely adorable and ended up talking past the time of closing for the restaurant where we had our date. It was so much fun, and we talked for hours, literally I got home at 1:00 am?!! No funny business, even though he wanted me to stay the night, I actually would have, but just decided I would rather go home. Still hasn't called me back, and he's the kind of guy that would, he wouldn't stop talking to me week before, so either A) He's doing it on purpose (naive option) or B) He's not interested. Then again I was talking to best friend yesterday found out he started talking to her day before yesterday... WOW, okay good bye.
He will be the hardest, but obviously...I don't even know what to say.
(planning on going to beach and making myself feel better)
It's not taken me long to discover that anything that begins with a lie, will never be real. Yet I'm still walking down this road, I hope he never finds out. Karma's waiting around the corner with a bat, I'm going to be so bruised. But hey! We seem to all love the quick fix! xxo